forgiveness

when you step back into my life
the mines are dormant
like volcanoes
they grumble
and i say please
don’t hurt this person they
do not know any better
and they scoff and i scoff
and i think that perhaps
i am wise beyond my years
and kind beyond my past

when you step back into my life
this battlefield is green
long gone and buried
the rivers of blood
i’ve cried in my pillows
and i am ready
to forgive it looks
like spring i am ready
to grow like leaves
this field is peaceful i am
unable to hate you and you are
not able to hurt me

the way i heal is subtle
every second venom pours out of my heart
through my feet into nothingness
i am barefoot and bloody
stepping over the bridges
they are obsolete
i can swim now
and you can’t drown me
in pain

the panic is quiet i am
learning to live without the fear
of wronging you
i am still hurting
and my heart is still broken
when it mends
i worry it will still be mangled
and bent
and perhaps i will never be whole again
but i will be free


13/6/18

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